I turned 20 yesterday. I know it isn't a huge number by any means, but I feel old. There is something about that 2. It makes me feel less mysterious, less exciting, less spontaneous and more responsible. I promised myself I'd always be content with my age and never talk about growing up as a curse.

However, let's be honest here. 20 IS an awkward age. It's sort of this in-between place - the middle of being a teenager and at least feeling like an adult. Yeah, I haven't been a teenager for years, really. I grew up when I graduated - moved out on my own to pursue adventures of varying sorts. Still, some huge part of me could never get over the fact that I was a child...just a very big and responsible one.

Now I find myself split in half, standing on a wood plank with swords drawn on both sides. On one end - me as a child, and on the other - me as an adult. Each scowl with disgust at each other...or fear. I'm sure as I walk away from this computer, they'll actually just shake hands and walk into the sunset together, creating beautiful harmony. It's just fun to be dramatic sometimes. Either way, it's going to take awhile getting used to not being a teen.