Jul 14, 2012

Striving again?

Does anybody else feel like they are constantly striving? If only I pray enough, and read the best Christian books, and listen hard to all the sermons on Sunday, and really go deep in my small group, and offer a helping hand at every church event...and maybe volunteer a few hours for the soup kitchen while I'm at it, and make sure to pay my bills on time, and be available to all my friends, and read the bible everyday, and find my calling in life, and work out at least three times a week, and cut out sugar, and keep a positive attitude...then maybe I will finally feel peace and joy and healing. The problem is all that striving just results in stress and busy-ness and never really being present in the moment.

Can't for once God's grace be enough? I mean really? There is nothing I can add to it. I've already been set free. There's nothing I need to do to access peace and joy and healing. So what is all this going, going, going for? No matter how good these things are within themselves, if all they do is keep me distracted, my heart never really gets what it truly wants: more intimacy with God.

So my response? My temptation is to say, "Oh Courtney. You need to get your act together on this one." Haha. But nope. How about I just turn my brain off for a moment from all those things I think I need to do to be more whole...and just "be wholly Yours." It's time to throw the arms up (for the umpteenth time today) and simply worship the One who took care of everything.