A short note...

Today I was reminded that no matter how frustrating situations people can be, it is always about love. Seeing them as Christ sees them and then...loving them. When we think they "don't get it" or they are too immature or they're too selfish or they're just idiots...love.

The more we see them as Christ sees them, the less annoyed or frustrated or whatever we get. Because they stop being a thing in our lives or an inconvenience or there to serve what we want to accomplish...and they start being people. More than that, they start being children of God with heartaches and needs and problems and desires and hopes and mistakes and insecurities and...

...a special purpose...

...just like me.



Remember to love today. Remember to see each other as Christ does.

Spiritual Healing

Last night I presented a sermon on Matthew 9:1-8. I focused on spiritual healing vs. physical healing. After the sermon, I was approached by a small handful of people telling me how significant the message was. It was then that I realized perhaps I need to address this to more than just the youth group.

An overview of the passage: it is about a paralytic who was carried by his friends to a gathering where Jesus was teaching. Their hope was to get their friend healed. But when they reached the house where the gathering was, they could not get in. So they dug a hole in the roof and lowered their buddy in. Seeing the faith of the friends, Jesus said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." But of course the Pharisees were bitter in their hearts and secretly accused Jesus of blasphemy. Sensing this, Jesus called them out and said, "Which is easier to say: 'Your sins are forgiven' or 'Get up, take your mat, and go home'? But so that you may know I have the authority to forgive sins - son, get up, take your mat, and go home." So the paralytic got up, took his mat, and went home. And God was glorified.

Now whenever I used to read this I always felt that it should be harder to heal a man of his physical ailments. "Isn't forgiveness of sins easy?" But I did not realize the significance God's forgiveness of our sins actually is.

You know, last fall I took a blow to my health. In such a short period of time I developed severe tendinitis in both hands/arms. It was so devastating, it was like hitting a brick wall. I had to drop out of massage therapy school, quit my job as a barista, stop playing guitar, and even everyday tasks like writing, cleaning, driving, putting on make up and doing my hair became very painful. I did not understand why I was going through such a thing. I prayed constantly that God would heal me physically. Eventually, I grew bitter and hopeless.

But during the time that my hands got worse and worse, something strange happened. I had to start dealing with the fact that I was getting bitter, that my heart was breaking, and that I was sick of being disappointed. And in the midst of dealing with it, I was forced to face sins, heartaches, disappointments, unforgiveness and resentment from the past - things which I'd been holding on to, and refused to deal with before. And though it was painful, I began to heal in a very spiritual way.

I had a break through one night a few months ago. I sat alone in my room and for hours upon hours I prayed through my sins that I'd not confessed, through hurts that I'd not yet forgiven (even forgiving myself), and disappointments that I held against God or others. As I worked through my spiritual ailments, a heavy burden began to lift. I knew God was mending significant wounds. And at the end of the night, I felt God placing a promise in my heart. As if He were saying, "Courtney, now I am not only going to heal you spiritually, but now I am also going to heal you physically. Keep praying for it."

Since, I have continued my journey of spiritual healing. I have grown significantly from my physical disease and have learned to rely on God in new and wonderful ways. But guess what? He's also been healing me physically! My tendinitis is nearly gone, to the point that my doctor said I may even be able to return to massage school soon. Praise God!

But you see, it was important that I realized that spiritual healing is far more significant than physical healing. We focus so much on the physical. Yet the physical will soon pass. Spiritual healing is eternal, while physical healing is only temporary. We are all going to die one day. We are all getting old and our bodies are deteriorating. In our youth we may have our physical health, but it will soon fade. Whereas our spiritual health will remain with us throughout our lives and we will reap a reward in heaven for our pursuit of godliness.

I want to challenge you that if the idea of your health deteriorating is actually quite a frightening thought to you, perhaps you need to give that to God. While physical health is important (I won't deny that, it certainly helps us to be capable of more), it can become an idol like anything else.

When you look back on your life, how will you have lived it? Will you have wasted your time and energy and heart and focus on the pursuit of physical things? Wealth, status, appearance? All of these things will die with you and never give you life. Or will you see that you pursued God, love, godliness? If you pursue God with your utmost diligence in your life, you will plant seeds of love and hope and goodness in the lives you touch, even if you never know it. You will live life to its fullest because you will know what life is truly about. As you strive to give over to God the junk in your life, you will have richer relationships, deeper love, and fully appreciation. Your needs will become simple and your heart grow more delighted in Him.

It all starts with prayer. Pray, pray, pray, pray to Him. Listen to Him speak to you. Tell Him anything and everything. Pour your heart out to Him. Prayer is the most amazing tool we have - it is direct communication with God. And though it is hard often, persevere. Persevere because He will guide your way through prayer.

I will end this blog with a verse:

"...Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, BUT godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:7b-8

Amen.

Sabbath what?

Someone once told me there is this spiritual discipline called taking a Sabbath (day off). I was like, "What? What are you even talking about?"

Okay, maybe I wasn't like that. But it seems lately, especially in such a fast paced, financial-success driven society, relaxing has become a skill that needs to be learned for many people. I include myself in that. I love the idea of relaxing, but I've yet to figure out how to do it at will. On my days off I usually work on something, even when I don't need to. The idea of having nothing to do all day seems wasteful and horrible and awkward! But there is evidence that I need one when I have been sick with colds and flus for the past few months! My body is not getting enough rest by my will to stay healthy, so I'm forced into bed by bugs of all sorts having parties in my lungs and sinuses.

God gave us the Sabbath as a gift. He never needed us to take a Sabbath. Us working does not make Him angry. He loves a good work ethic. But He commanded us to take a Sabbath for us, and not for Him. He knows what is best for us. Yet we - I - think we know what is best for ourselves and so we work none stop. And guess what, weeks and months pass and one day we feel burnt out, our relationships seem strained, and most of all, something just doesn't seem right. Our relationship with God easily becomes distant and distracted when we don't take a day to let things be in His hands.

It's hard to take time off, and I'm not saying we need to be legalistic about it. But it's important to take time to ourselves, even if it's a few hours a day rather than one entire day. I mean, take one entire day a week if you can as often as possible, but sometimes it just doesn't practically play out. But my challenge for myself is to be intentional about the time I take to relax, enjoy friends and family, enjoy alone time, and especially to enjoy God. Some weeks I don't have a whole day, but I have a few hours a couple of mornings and one evening a week. So take that time to read my bible, pray, journal and catch up with people in my life. On Sundays after church I often head over to the local coffee shop for a board game or share a meal with close friends. Other Sundays I reserve time to just myself, and sit in a coffee shop or a book store for hours alone reading and journaling. If I can do it, you can to.

A good friend of mine always says that God has this way of giving back to us the time we give to him. When we think we don't have time to give Him an hour but do, we are surprised to find that we get done whatever we needed to get done with that hour anyway. Does that make sense? I hope so. Test it out. I bet you'll find it's true. Give Him an hour or two or three - completely undivided with the intention of resting in Him and enjoying His presence (and not as an excuse to procrastinate, thank you much). And I bet you will find that you get back whatever time you gave.

Grace and Peace from the Father through Christ.

Beauty in the Lowly

This past week I had the opportunity to visit Vancouver. Youth leaders from my church and I took eleven middle school students on a short term 'mission' trip. One of my colleagues refers to it more as an 'awareness raising' trip, though we did serve some ministries. We teamed up with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Vancouver. The week was very powerful and I want to focus on a specific aspect of it.

We had an evening where one of the YWAM staff members, an awesome servant of the Lord named Ryan, shared with us about Human Trafficking and the Sex Trade Industry. I've worked some with this issue in my past when I myself was on staff with YWAM in Seattle, and traveled to work with YWAM in Thailand. This is a major issue for Thailand itself and has become something quite close to my heart. So when Ryan began discussion of this topic, I found myself getting very emotional. In fact, I wept quite a bit. I'm sure some of the students were confused about my reaction, but I doubt they were concerned.

Such an issue causes us to face the reality that a lot of women, men and children are made victims of a violent industry. They are forced into it usually with violence, threats, and rape. Children in not only foreign countries but even our own are sold into a modern day form of slavery by their parents or recruiting under false pretenses (with the promise of a good job in another city) only to be throw into the violent world of prostitution. And yet a blind eye is turned because people 'cannot handle such an ugly truth'.

We look down on prostitutes as the scum of the earth or as twisted women who are willing to sink low enough to subject themselves to a degrading profession. And yet we fail to see that they themselves are victims. They are victims of kidnapping, poverty, addiction, violence and rape. We see ugly. And God sees beauty. That's right. He sees beauty.

He sees His children, His beautiful children being used and used and used. And His heart breaks. Jesus reached out to prostitutes with love and grace and mercy, even in a time and culture that found this highly unacceptable. Jesus saw women and men who felt no worth and no beauty. And all He saw was the beautiful and loved children of God.

In Vancouver there are many things we might consider ugly. It became apparent to me by the cities division between 'ghetto' and 'high end'. The line is almost as clear as day and night - when walking the streets one would notice an immediate change from poverty to wealth within one block. The poor, the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes, the desperate are being pushed and forced into one corner of the city so that they don't have to be seen; so that we can turn a blind eye to the 'ugly'. Yet God sees beauty in these people; His children.

I want to challenge you, like God has challenged me, to see the beauty in the places society considers ugly. To see beauty in the faces of men and women who are covered in dirt and grime and oil and shame. To see beauty in children of God who are made victims to addiction and violence and rape and poverty and the sins of others and the sins of themselves. And look yourself in the mirror today. Ask yourself what difference there is between you and lowest of the lowelys. Though your lifestyle me look different, are you really better than them? In the eyes of God, are you more important, more valuable, more beautiful? Or are you the same? Are we all, each and every one of us, poor and wealthy, dirty and clean, really just the same?

Yes. Yes, we are. And praise God for it.

(View blog on it's website www.ruggedbeauty.blogspot.com)