This past week I had the opportunity to visit Vancouver. Youth leaders from my church and I took eleven middle school students on a short term 'mission' trip. One of my colleagues refers to it more as an 'awareness raising' trip, though we did serve some ministries. We teamed up with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Vancouver. The week was very powerful and I want to focus on a specific aspect of it.
We had an evening where one of the YWAM staff members, an awesome servant of the Lord named Ryan, shared with us about Human Trafficking and the Sex Trade Industry. I've worked some with this issue in my past when I myself was on staff with YWAM in Seattle, and traveled to work with YWAM in Thailand. This is a major issue for Thailand itself and has become something quite close to my heart. So when Ryan began discussion of this topic, I found myself getting very emotional. In fact, I wept quite a bit. I'm sure some of the students were confused about my reaction, but I doubt they were concerned.
Such an issue causes us to face the reality that a lot of women, men and children are made victims of a violent industry. They are forced into it usually with violence, threats, and rape. Children in not only foreign countries but even our own are sold into a modern day form of slavery by their parents or recruiting under false pretenses (with the promise of a good job in another city) only to be throw into the violent world of prostitution. And yet a blind eye is turned because people 'cannot handle such an ugly truth'.
We look down on prostitutes as the scum of the earth or as twisted women who are willing to sink low enough to subject themselves to a degrading profession. And yet we fail to see that they themselves are victims. They are victims of kidnapping, poverty, addiction, violence and rape. We see ugly. And God sees beauty. That's right. He sees beauty.
He sees His children, His beautiful children being used and used and used. And His heart breaks. Jesus reached out to prostitutes with love and grace and mercy, even in a time and culture that found this highly unacceptable. Jesus saw women and men who felt no worth and no beauty. And all He saw was the beautiful and loved children of God.
In Vancouver there are many things we might consider ugly. It became apparent to me by the cities division between 'ghetto' and 'high end'. The line is almost as clear as day and night - when walking the streets one would notice an immediate change from poverty to wealth within one block. The poor, the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes, the desperate are being pushed and forced into one corner of the city so that they don't have to be seen; so that we can turn a blind eye to the 'ugly'. Yet God sees beauty in these people; His children.
I want to challenge you, like God has challenged me, to see the beauty in the places society considers ugly. To see beauty in the faces of men and women who are covered in dirt and grime and oil and shame. To see beauty in children of God who are made victims to addiction and violence and rape and poverty and the sins of others and the sins of themselves. And look yourself in the mirror today. Ask yourself what difference there is between you and lowest of the lowelys. Though your lifestyle me look different, are you really better than them? In the eyes of God, are you more important, more valuable, more beautiful? Or are you the same? Are we all, each and every one of us, poor and wealthy, dirty and clean, really just the same?
Yes. Yes, we are. And praise God for it.
(View blog on it's website www.ruggedbeauty.blogspot.com)
Apr 3, 2009
Mar 26, 2009
Repeat after me: "Intentionally Creating Community..."
I've been thinking a lot about community lately. Any of my friends will tell you that I love to be around people, which is probably why I'm so addicted to ministry in the first place. I'm all about people - all about their hearts and souls and minds. I love to pour into them, love to spend time with them, love to get to know them. It's just who God has made me to be.
Lately, I've been playing a lot of games with friends. Not as in mental games, I'm mean literal games like Scatagories and chess (yeah, I actually played chess!) and Cranium. I suppose it all started in England when friends and I made a regular meeting out of playing Texas Hold 'Em. And then when I returned I seemed to befriend people who had to play games when they got together. So now I find myself sending out texts every Sunday asking who might be up for a board game at the local coffee shop. And I've got to say, it's been amazing getting to know random people through it.
All this to say, I've been thinking about the idea of intentionally creating community as of late. When I came back to Gig Harbor, I had this idea in my head that God was wanting me to start a ministry among young adults. And I somewhat assumed this meant a very straight forward, 'what you normally see' kind of ministry. You know, starting small groups, teaching lessons, etc. etc. But lately I'm realizing this ministry He has naturally evolved for me has everything to do with 'intentionally creating community' and nothing to do with starting small groups or whatever. It's as if there is some switch in me that refuses to shut off. What shall I call it? A hospitality switch? A hostess switch? An organizer switch? I can't stop planning reasons to get together with the young adults in my community.
I wonder if perhaps God wants all of us to be more intentional about creating community around us. I'm not talking about be a freak about it like I am. I just mean that I am someone who believes we were designed to be in relationship with others. But, especially for young single adults, life gets busy with work and play and everything in between. Even hanging out with people can end up being more about entertainment than relationship. I want to start a movement in Gig Harbor where people decide to go out of their way to build relationship with those around them. Have a meal together, play a board game, catch up over coffee, go see a comedian who has come to town, visit a jazz club. Whatever it is, I want to challange everyone, both young and old, to start 'intentionally creating community". See it as a ministry or not. Just give it a try for a while and see what happens. You never know - maybe it might even change your life!
Lately, I've been playing a lot of games with friends. Not as in mental games, I'm mean literal games like Scatagories and chess (yeah, I actually played chess!) and Cranium. I suppose it all started in England when friends and I made a regular meeting out of playing Texas Hold 'Em. And then when I returned I seemed to befriend people who had to play games when they got together. So now I find myself sending out texts every Sunday asking who might be up for a board game at the local coffee shop. And I've got to say, it's been amazing getting to know random people through it.
All this to say, I've been thinking about the idea of intentionally creating community as of late. When I came back to Gig Harbor, I had this idea in my head that God was wanting me to start a ministry among young adults. And I somewhat assumed this meant a very straight forward, 'what you normally see' kind of ministry. You know, starting small groups, teaching lessons, etc. etc. But lately I'm realizing this ministry He has naturally evolved for me has everything to do with 'intentionally creating community' and nothing to do with starting small groups or whatever. It's as if there is some switch in me that refuses to shut off. What shall I call it? A hospitality switch? A hostess switch? An organizer switch? I can't stop planning reasons to get together with the young adults in my community.
I wonder if perhaps God wants all of us to be more intentional about creating community around us. I'm not talking about be a freak about it like I am. I just mean that I am someone who believes we were designed to be in relationship with others. But, especially for young single adults, life gets busy with work and play and everything in between. Even hanging out with people can end up being more about entertainment than relationship. I want to start a movement in Gig Harbor where people decide to go out of their way to build relationship with those around them. Have a meal together, play a board game, catch up over coffee, go see a comedian who has come to town, visit a jazz club. Whatever it is, I want to challange everyone, both young and old, to start 'intentionally creating community". See it as a ministry or not. Just give it a try for a while and see what happens. You never know - maybe it might even change your life!
Mar 2, 2009
Love
This weekend, many of the girls from our church's high school group went away for a spiritual retreat. I was blessed enough to be a leader on this weekend away, and even more blessed to be able to teach a bit on the theme: lavishing love. For those of you who weren't able to make it, and for those of you who were there but would like a refresher, here is a recap.
On the first night, I introduced the idea of God lavishing His love on us. We focused on the weekend's key verse, 1 John 3:1 - How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!...etc.
I discussed how difficult it can be for many of us to understand and accept God's love for us. Hoping in God's love often seems like the biggest risk anyone can take, especially if our personal experiences with an earthly father figure have been disappointing and hurtful. But His love for us is true and good. We can count on it. We are His children and He loves us. I finished by asking the girls to spend the weekend loving on one another as an expression of God's love for them.
In the morning, Alison did a devo on loving one another and the fruits of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit will be revealed in us through our actions - the way we treat one another. If we possess the fruits, we will treat one another with love. She made a point that love is the first and foremost fruit of the Spirit. Without it, we cannot obtain the other fruits. So we must seek the love of God.
That evening, Kelly took us through the book of 1 John. She did an incredible job first showing us how to study our bibles, then opening our eyes to what 1 John says about God and us. She discussed God's faithfulness and forgiveness. She discussed what God says about sin and led us through a process of recognising and confessing our own sins. The evening was powerful as God stirred the hearts of many.
On Sunday morning, I gave the final talk on how to apply what we've learned to our lives. I discussed the effect we have on one another. A few of the girls shared how being encouraged by one another over the weekend, as I asked them to do on Friday night, made them feel unified and loved. I shared how when we have healthy human relationships we experience the fullness of life.
We looked at 1 John 4:11-12, which discusses how God first loved us, and that is how we love another. But if we do not first recieve God's love, we cannot love one another. There is this mysterious parallel between the amount of love we recieve from God and the amount of love we are able to pour out on others.
We also discussed the definition of love - that it is not a feeling, but an action. Brad Henning, a speaker on sex and relationships, defines love as choosing the highest good (or the best) for the person recieving the love. That could be others, or that could be ourselves. Love is an action - a choice. If you say you love me, I want to see it in your actions. If you say you love God, I want to see it by the way you live your life.
I challenged the girls to decide what priority they want to have in their life. God or themselves. I asked them how their relationship with God is: what are they holding out from God? When we allow God to remove sins and stains in our lives, we are able to recieve and give more of His love. When we refuse His work in us, we are keeping ourselves from experiencing once again the fullness of life.
To recieve God's love, we need to spend time with Him, soak in His Spirit, pray often, listen to what He has to say to us, and read the Word often for it gives life. It often seems hard, but as we challenge ourselves to perservere, we find that we start to crave the scriptures.
Receive God's love. Then go out and pour it on others.
On the first night, I introduced the idea of God lavishing His love on us. We focused on the weekend's key verse, 1 John 3:1 - How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!...etc.
I discussed how difficult it can be for many of us to understand and accept God's love for us. Hoping in God's love often seems like the biggest risk anyone can take, especially if our personal experiences with an earthly father figure have been disappointing and hurtful. But His love for us is true and good. We can count on it. We are His children and He loves us. I finished by asking the girls to spend the weekend loving on one another as an expression of God's love for them.
In the morning, Alison did a devo on loving one another and the fruits of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit will be revealed in us through our actions - the way we treat one another. If we possess the fruits, we will treat one another with love. She made a point that love is the first and foremost fruit of the Spirit. Without it, we cannot obtain the other fruits. So we must seek the love of God.
That evening, Kelly took us through the book of 1 John. She did an incredible job first showing us how to study our bibles, then opening our eyes to what 1 John says about God and us. She discussed God's faithfulness and forgiveness. She discussed what God says about sin and led us through a process of recognising and confessing our own sins. The evening was powerful as God stirred the hearts of many.
On Sunday morning, I gave the final talk on how to apply what we've learned to our lives. I discussed the effect we have on one another. A few of the girls shared how being encouraged by one another over the weekend, as I asked them to do on Friday night, made them feel unified and loved. I shared how when we have healthy human relationships we experience the fullness of life.
We looked at 1 John 4:11-12, which discusses how God first loved us, and that is how we love another. But if we do not first recieve God's love, we cannot love one another. There is this mysterious parallel between the amount of love we recieve from God and the amount of love we are able to pour out on others.
We also discussed the definition of love - that it is not a feeling, but an action. Brad Henning, a speaker on sex and relationships, defines love as choosing the highest good (or the best) for the person recieving the love. That could be others, or that could be ourselves. Love is an action - a choice. If you say you love me, I want to see it in your actions. If you say you love God, I want to see it by the way you live your life.
I challenged the girls to decide what priority they want to have in their life. God or themselves. I asked them how their relationship with God is: what are they holding out from God? When we allow God to remove sins and stains in our lives, we are able to recieve and give more of His love. When we refuse His work in us, we are keeping ourselves from experiencing once again the fullness of life.
To recieve God's love, we need to spend time with Him, soak in His Spirit, pray often, listen to what He has to say to us, and read the Word often for it gives life. It often seems hard, but as we challenge ourselves to perservere, we find that we start to crave the scriptures.
Receive God's love. Then go out and pour it on others.
Feb 26, 2009
Simple Pleasures
Do you know what really gets me feeling like a child? Snow.
It snowed last night. I don't know why it did. It seems this part of the country can't make up its mind what season it'd like to be. Winter? Summer? It doesn't know.
I was on my way out from my church's high school youth group meeting when I noticed how much it'd been coming down. I exchange a few friendly jokes and farewells, laughed at a friend who said he strongly dislikes the snow (he's from Texas), then proceeded to my car. I walked with face toward the sky and probably would have walked into something if it were in my way. Fortunately the path to my little gas-efficient Civic was clear. "I'm not from Texas," I thought to myself. "I love the snow."
Nothing puts me in a state of delight like the snow does. There is some childish mechanism that God has gracefully placed my adult soul that switches on whenever the air turns crisp and I get the feeling that icy crystals will soon cover the ground. I am forced to stop and appreciate the fluff falling around my face; and even just for a moment I am a little girl full of wonder and everything becomes a miracle again.
In Matthew 11:25, Jesus says, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
As an adult, I constantly battle arrogance, stubbornness, and too much seriousness. I find myself turning my nose up at things I once delighted in - thinking, "How childish!" But then the Holy Spirit convicts me, revealing to me that it is my own pride and jealously that causes me to react in such a way. And I am reminded that being childlike is a wonderful thing. It is a sad day when adults learn to no longer have fun, to delight in simple things, and even refuse to engage in childlike imagination. How beautiful it is when a full grown person can stoop down the level of a child and be filled once again with all the pleasures, wonders, and humility of childhood.
It snowed last night. I don't know why it did. It seems this part of the country can't make up its mind what season it'd like to be. Winter? Summer? It doesn't know.
I was on my way out from my church's high school youth group meeting when I noticed how much it'd been coming down. I exchange a few friendly jokes and farewells, laughed at a friend who said he strongly dislikes the snow (he's from Texas), then proceeded to my car. I walked with face toward the sky and probably would have walked into something if it were in my way. Fortunately the path to my little gas-efficient Civic was clear. "I'm not from Texas," I thought to myself. "I love the snow."
Nothing puts me in a state of delight like the snow does. There is some childish mechanism that God has gracefully placed my adult soul that switches on whenever the air turns crisp and I get the feeling that icy crystals will soon cover the ground. I am forced to stop and appreciate the fluff falling around my face; and even just for a moment I am a little girl full of wonder and everything becomes a miracle again.
In Matthew 11:25, Jesus says, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."
As an adult, I constantly battle arrogance, stubbornness, and too much seriousness. I find myself turning my nose up at things I once delighted in - thinking, "How childish!" But then the Holy Spirit convicts me, revealing to me that it is my own pride and jealously that causes me to react in such a way. And I am reminded that being childlike is a wonderful thing. It is a sad day when adults learn to no longer have fun, to delight in simple things, and even refuse to engage in childlike imagination. How beautiful it is when a full grown person can stoop down the level of a child and be filled once again with all the pleasures, wonders, and humility of childhood.
Feb 25, 2009
Oh the Rain
It's been raining so much the past few days. Can I be honest? I love it. I know it's annoying to walk in - and to drive in, but it has this way of filling me with a sense of renewal and refreshment. Just like the Holy Spirit brings up springs from the dryness of the soul to fill us with the living water of Jesus Christ. Rain is a sign of blessing and has been since the ancient days. Oh, how refreshed I feel these days.
Yesterday evening I read a psalm that really captured my heart at the moment. Psalm 63 reads:
O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as longs as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with
the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
...the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him...
AMEN.
Yesterday evening I read a psalm that really captured my heart at the moment. Psalm 63 reads:
O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as longs as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with
the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
...the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him...
AMEN.
Feb 10, 2009
Welp, there's a holiday coming up and you know what it is: V Day. And while many people are celebrating their love for another person, some people might be inside experiencing resentment and hurt for past heart aches and disappointments. Let's be honest. There are a lot of you out there, no matter the age. A wound is a wound no matter the size.
And it is custom on this holiday to try to forget those pains or maybe to dwell on them, possibly even to try to 'punish' those who have recently or long ago hurt us through jealousy, etc. etc. How many of you have taken on a love interest simply to spite a past love interest?
But instead of running from the wounds or dwelling on them or rubbing in the guilt of someone who has inflicted them on you, why not try something new this Valentine's Day? Why not forgive? Yes, forgive.
Jesus came to this earth to die for our sins and make forgiveness possible for everyone. No matter what wounds and heartaches we caused Him, His love for us covered over our sins. He came to bring forgiveness. And if God can forgive us, than we have no right to hold unforgiveness towards others. God desires to break His redeeming love into our broken relationships and either restore them or bring closure.
So this week as you think about those who have hurt you, why not make a commitment to learn to forgive. And...in other cases, maybe this V-Day is the right time to ASK for forgiveness as well. Forgiveness brings a kind of freedom that we cannot truly grasp - a freedom that our spirits hunger for. Let's represent what the 14th is really about this year and love one another as Christ loved us.
And it is custom on this holiday to try to forget those pains or maybe to dwell on them, possibly even to try to 'punish' those who have recently or long ago hurt us through jealousy, etc. etc. How many of you have taken on a love interest simply to spite a past love interest?
But instead of running from the wounds or dwelling on them or rubbing in the guilt of someone who has inflicted them on you, why not try something new this Valentine's Day? Why not forgive? Yes, forgive.
Jesus came to this earth to die for our sins and make forgiveness possible for everyone. No matter what wounds and heartaches we caused Him, His love for us covered over our sins. He came to bring forgiveness. And if God can forgive us, than we have no right to hold unforgiveness towards others. God desires to break His redeeming love into our broken relationships and either restore them or bring closure.
So this week as you think about those who have hurt you, why not make a commitment to learn to forgive. And...in other cases, maybe this V-Day is the right time to ASK for forgiveness as well. Forgiveness brings a kind of freedom that we cannot truly grasp - a freedom that our spirits hunger for. Let's represent what the 14th is really about this year and love one another as Christ loved us.
Feb 2, 2009
What's A Dame To Do?
I recently came across a board game called What's A Dame To Do? And I found it fascinating. First of all, it's one of those 'get to know you' games, which is great. I am driven by relationships and am therefore a huge fan of anything that involves getting to know people better (in a kosher way, thank you!). Of course, it would only be a game for girls, though it'd be very interesting to pull guys into it. But then I wondered if even women might be a little hesitant to play the game. I mean, after all it is meant for girly girls, or so it seems. So it got me thinking about this issue that has been coming up lately: being okay with being a girl.
In today's society women made it possible for them to be seen equal to men. This does not always pan out in practice, but it certainly is striven for. After years of fighting for the right to join the military, be a working mom, live independently from men successfully, and even have children without the help of a man (!), there has risen a culture where women are beginning to believe they have to be men. Bare with me on this one, but I do see that often women (without realizing) feel in order to compete with men, they have to be like men. And there is now this negative stigma around being girly. Being girly is for women who aren't successful, women who aren't smart, women who aren't as superior. You may think it's harsh, but it truly is the attitude many women have taken upon themselves. I know because I've been there and I've recognized it in others. Countless others.
AND IT IS SAD! What is wrong with being a woman? Nothing. God created man and woman to be unique, and to be wonderfully special within that uniqueness. God loves it that women are so often in touch with their emotional side. God loves it that women are so often relationally driven. God made us with the desire to be delighted in, the hope to be adored, and the need to be loved. I can imagine Him delighting when we get excited over a boy. I can imagine Him laughing when we turn red after being told we are beautiful. I can imagine Him compassionately holding us when tears flood down our face over a broken heart or hurt feelings. He truly is that kind and wonderful Father with the kind of laugh that comes up from the depths of His gut, and the kind of arms that wrap all the way around you and absorb you into Him. And we are His daughters; His beautiful, delightful, lovely daughters. And that is a wonderful, wonderful reality.
So, girls, be excited about being you - a woman. Don't be embarassed about being too girly or feel ashamed when you want to feel beautiful. It's a wonderful thing to be a woman. And when we finally let go and embrace the female inside of us, there is a freedom that comes and a joy that penetrates to the core of our womanly-souls.
Praise God!
Jan 28, 2009
The Truth About Truth
I was having a discussion with a friend the other day in a coffee shop. It often happens that when I come into this particular coffee shop, I will run into a friend or acquaintance (and sometimes even a stranger) and find myself suddenly in an intense discussion. Such was the case with this friend.
Now, I have found myself in many deep conversations with this fellow, so it came as no surprise to me that we should have another. I can't remember all that we talked about, but what stands out to me is a moment which I caught myself terribly off guard with my own honesty.
I began going off on why truth is such a hard thing to handle. I confessed that the truth happens to be my biggest fear. When absolute, pure, unfiltered truth breaks through, we are forced to be painfully aware of our weaknesses. And by weaknesses, I mean those which we covet; those which we hide so well that often we don't actually believe they are weaknesses. We might tell ourselves that we are fine, we can handle it, that it's not even a problem, and there is no need to tell anyone about them. But when truth breaks in, it comes like a double edged sword piercing straight through our hearts. And we are confronted with the reality that we are, in fact, a slave to something other than righteousness and we are entirely helpless.
The thing about truth is that it also brings a hope. A hope in a future, a hope in freedom, a hope in a love that is far less complicated than we make it. And most of all, it brings us a hope in a God that truly LOVES US, and can make anything possible - even complete intimacy.
When the day comes that I pass from this earth and stand before God the Judge, I will be on my face trembling with fear because no lie, no deception, no illusion will keep me any longer from knowing the truth of my own wretchedness. And surely I will be saying, "Oh God, I am not worthy! Have mercy on me, your servant!" And my every hope is that a voice will come gently speaking; the voice of the Son saying,
"Rise, beloved child. I am standing with you. My blood has covered your sins. Now, well done, good and faithful servant." Oh yes. That'll be the day.
Now, I have found myself in many deep conversations with this fellow, so it came as no surprise to me that we should have another. I can't remember all that we talked about, but what stands out to me is a moment which I caught myself terribly off guard with my own honesty.
I began going off on why truth is such a hard thing to handle. I confessed that the truth happens to be my biggest fear. When absolute, pure, unfiltered truth breaks through, we are forced to be painfully aware of our weaknesses. And by weaknesses, I mean those which we covet; those which we hide so well that often we don't actually believe they are weaknesses. We might tell ourselves that we are fine, we can handle it, that it's not even a problem, and there is no need to tell anyone about them. But when truth breaks in, it comes like a double edged sword piercing straight through our hearts. And we are confronted with the reality that we are, in fact, a slave to something other than righteousness and we are entirely helpless.
The thing about truth is that it also brings a hope. A hope in a future, a hope in freedom, a hope in a love that is far less complicated than we make it. And most of all, it brings us a hope in a God that truly LOVES US, and can make anything possible - even complete intimacy.
When the day comes that I pass from this earth and stand before God the Judge, I will be on my face trembling with fear because no lie, no deception, no illusion will keep me any longer from knowing the truth of my own wretchedness. And surely I will be saying, "Oh God, I am not worthy! Have mercy on me, your servant!" And my every hope is that a voice will come gently speaking; the voice of the Son saying,
"Rise, beloved child. I am standing with you. My blood has covered your sins. Now, well done, good and faithful servant." Oh yes. That'll be the day.
Dec 16, 2008
I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since I wrote a blog! Time passes very quickly and I suppose I've been up to much.
A few months ago I injured my wrists, placing a brick wall right in the middle of the road to becomming a massage therapist. It also meant I had to quit my job as barista. Funnily enough, even after putting in my two weeks notice in October , I find myself still working at the coffee shop. I suppose when you love something enough, it is a bit hard to give up. I'm beginning to find I won't have a choice soon.
I will admit, this has been a difficult time. I laugh about it, though. Truly, truly it brings me some weird sense of joy. I wish I could convey this in a clear way. Though the injuries will make it very difficult for me to find work in the future and will probably get worse
Aug 25, 2008
Mmmmm.
There is just something about rain.
Yesterday I journeyed to Seattle with a few friends. And, after driving around for what seemed like hours, finally found a parking spot several blocks from a very important record store (one of our many destinations that afternoon).When we first set out early in the morning, the weather looked promising. So I did not bring an umbrella. But true to Seattle, it began chucking it down by lunch time. We decided to walk the odd number of blocks to the record store anyway.
At first, I felt a little unsure of this whole "getting wet" thing. The rain came down harder and harder as our heels pressed into every new step, soaking us to the absolute brim. But eventually I learned that puddles feel ever so lovely to step into, and even began to outstretch my hands as a gesture of acceptance towards the rain. It reminded me of that old musical "Singing In the Rain". I swear, I even heard the rain come down like tiny music notes, each resounding uniquely together upon my face. And for a moment, the world froze - like they do in the films when lovers embrace upon first reuniting or when a suffering soul reaches the cleansing joy of redemption.
I collect moments like that; moments when no matter where I am or who I am with or what I am going through, I am filled with some strange kind of delight that everything in all of its complexity really is simple. Those are the moments when the world slows on its axis, and I get this picture in my mind of God just...smiling. You know, the way a Dad smiles when he's delighted to give his child something they really really really want. It's that reaction: that quiet "you know I'm happy to" reaction. Oh! That's such a good reaction. Blimey, I feel like such a child when that happens!
Ha! And that's what I want to accomplish. I spend so much time trying to be grown up and forget what it means to delight in being a child. At times I wonder if that's all it takes - to have the kind of faith that shakes mountains. A simple faith full of wonder and awe towards God. It puts us in such a position of true humility; joyful humility. I mean, how many of us, if we're honest, get stuck in a rut thinking we know all there is to know about theology or church or the Bible? That arrogance is a sin and a distraction from the beautifully simple relationship we have with God.
If we feel we are at a place where we no longer need to grow (or even that there is not much more to God and faith than we already know), may we pray for God to slap us in the face with a wake up call - immediately! And that is what I have to say today.
With love,
Courtney Danielson
Yesterday I journeyed to Seattle with a few friends. And, after driving around for what seemed like hours, finally found a parking spot several blocks from a very important record store (one of our many destinations that afternoon).When we first set out early in the morning, the weather looked promising. So I did not bring an umbrella. But true to Seattle, it began chucking it down by lunch time. We decided to walk the odd number of blocks to the record store anyway.
At first, I felt a little unsure of this whole "getting wet" thing. The rain came down harder and harder as our heels pressed into every new step, soaking us to the absolute brim. But eventually I learned that puddles feel ever so lovely to step into, and even began to outstretch my hands as a gesture of acceptance towards the rain. It reminded me of that old musical "Singing In the Rain". I swear, I even heard the rain come down like tiny music notes, each resounding uniquely together upon my face. And for a moment, the world froze - like they do in the films when lovers embrace upon first reuniting or when a suffering soul reaches the cleansing joy of redemption.
I collect moments like that; moments when no matter where I am or who I am with or what I am going through, I am filled with some strange kind of delight that everything in all of its complexity really is simple. Those are the moments when the world slows on its axis, and I get this picture in my mind of God just...smiling. You know, the way a Dad smiles when he's delighted to give his child something they really really really want. It's that reaction: that quiet "you know I'm happy to" reaction. Oh! That's such a good reaction. Blimey, I feel like such a child when that happens!
Ha! And that's what I want to accomplish. I spend so much time trying to be grown up and forget what it means to delight in being a child. At times I wonder if that's all it takes - to have the kind of faith that shakes mountains. A simple faith full of wonder and awe towards God. It puts us in such a position of true humility; joyful humility. I mean, how many of us, if we're honest, get stuck in a rut thinking we know all there is to know about theology or church or the Bible? That arrogance is a sin and a distraction from the beautifully simple relationship we have with God.
If we feel we are at a place where we no longer need to grow (or even that there is not much more to God and faith than we already know), may we pray for God to slap us in the face with a wake up call - immediately! And that is what I have to say today.
With love,
Courtney Danielson
Aug 22, 2008
Oh Holy Spirit.
I want to start a book. I have waited a long time to do such a thing. And by that, I really mean I have not waited long at all. 22 years of life claim me. I'm young. I suppose my life will be the novel; my reflections and prayers the flesh. I do not know where this book will go and I have no expectation of it ever being published. I may only be writing it for myself, or for the few who most appreciate my picture-like writing style. We shall see.
Separately, a close friend rang me last night in the middle of his vacation. He just had to tell me about his experiences in Redding, California. If you know nothing of the place, please google it and click on anything having to do with revival. Man, the things my friend told me made be cry. I could hardly say much after a time, which is unusual for me. I just felt so...impacted or...I'm not sure. I suppose I felt helpless. Let me say why.
My friend talked about what God is doing in Redding - how the Holy Spirit is moving. It all sounded amazing, and though it was not new news (I have heard such reports on numerous occasions of Christians performing miracles as a daily task), I still felt surprised. I would even venture to say I felt shocked. I have experienced many wonderful things from the Holy Spirit, but I have really only had a small taste. He is doing so much more elsewhere. I won't go into details because there is just SO much. But my conversation with this young man...ugh! I WANT MORE! I know I am limited right now. I have felt it for some time and it has frustrated me beyond the point where I can take it. I MUST experience more freedom in the Holy Spirit soon. As a wise and dear friend often says, 'to live in the flow of the Holy Spirit'. Even the thought of such a thing fills me with unexplainable delight.
Separately, a close friend rang me last night in the middle of his vacation. He just had to tell me about his experiences in Redding, California. If you know nothing of the place, please google it and click on anything having to do with revival. Man, the things my friend told me made be cry. I could hardly say much after a time, which is unusual for me. I just felt so...impacted or...I'm not sure. I suppose I felt helpless. Let me say why.
My friend talked about what God is doing in Redding - how the Holy Spirit is moving. It all sounded amazing, and though it was not new news (I have heard such reports on numerous occasions of Christians performing miracles as a daily task), I still felt surprised. I would even venture to say I felt shocked. I have experienced many wonderful things from the Holy Spirit, but I have really only had a small taste. He is doing so much more elsewhere. I won't go into details because there is just SO much. But my conversation with this young man...ugh! I WANT MORE! I know I am limited right now. I have felt it for some time and it has frustrated me beyond the point where I can take it. I MUST experience more freedom in the Holy Spirit soon. As a wise and dear friend often says, 'to live in the flow of the Holy Spirit'. Even the thought of such a thing fills me with unexplainable delight.
Aug 2, 2008
Politics and C.S. Lewis among other things.
I've been thinking about politics lately. I don't like politics much. I'm beginning to realise this as of late, what with the presidential elections sitting on our laps and all. I doubt many people will appreciate that I don't like politics - or that I have little faith in human governing. It's flawed of course since we are flawed. I'm not an anarchist by any means. I have less interest in that than I do American politics.
Mostly, I prefer not to think about politics if I can help it and just focus on Jesus things - like relationship and the church. We have no control over the future, though we may think we do by pushing our political causes (or candidates) til it is no longer about what the cause will help and instead about being right. I have also observed that very political Christians spend more time arguing about issues with each other than they do praying together about them (or praying for one another). My thoughts? It is only God who knows what must be done about anything. We bicker and argue and fight to keep our prides; in the process damaging or hindering relationships and missing the bigger picture of God (2 Timothy 2:22-24).
I don't know the answer for how a kingdom child must go about politics. What we consider many of the purposes of Christ might fit perfectly well into political causes and stances. I have no opinion there (or a developed one at least). Other than such an observation, unfortunately, politics is an important part of our world. Whether it is a necessary one is another matter. With that in mind, I am not excempt from having political views, which may sound very hypocritical of me. I don't really care. I am being honest and admittedly processing through things. Now these thoughts come spewing out into one terrible and incomplete mess. It is likely that a year from now I will be just as uncertain.
Seperately, I'm reading more. The past few weeks I've managed to get a few good books in. I like this. I've been making time in the evenings and some mornings to read Christian fiction. I just finished The Great Divorce by our beloved Clive Staples Lewis - what a name - and I do recommend this reading. It offers an interesting and challanging view of Heaven and Hell through a dream. Now I have just begun yet another C.S. Lewis read: That Hideous Strength. It's of a trilogy and so far I am finding it quite difficult. Lewis writes this in a way I'm not accustomed to, not to mention it is not a simple work to follow. But I'm enjoying the challenge.
It seems I am going in waves of being disciplined about one thing and not another. And so it is with reading - disciplined about reading, but not about other things. Deary me. This is hard, but I'm not worried about it. It's all about God anyway. And He can take care perfectly well. ;)
Mostly, I prefer not to think about politics if I can help it and just focus on Jesus things - like relationship and the church. We have no control over the future, though we may think we do by pushing our political causes (or candidates) til it is no longer about what the cause will help and instead about being right. I have also observed that very political Christians spend more time arguing about issues with each other than they do praying together about them (or praying for one another). My thoughts? It is only God who knows what must be done about anything. We bicker and argue and fight to keep our prides; in the process damaging or hindering relationships and missing the bigger picture of God (2 Timothy 2:22-24).
I don't know the answer for how a kingdom child must go about politics. What we consider many of the purposes of Christ might fit perfectly well into political causes and stances. I have no opinion there (or a developed one at least). Other than such an observation, unfortunately, politics is an important part of our world. Whether it is a necessary one is another matter. With that in mind, I am not excempt from having political views, which may sound very hypocritical of me. I don't really care. I am being honest and admittedly processing through things. Now these thoughts come spewing out into one terrible and incomplete mess. It is likely that a year from now I will be just as uncertain.
Seperately, I'm reading more. The past few weeks I've managed to get a few good books in. I like this. I've been making time in the evenings and some mornings to read Christian fiction. I just finished The Great Divorce by our beloved Clive Staples Lewis - what a name - and I do recommend this reading. It offers an interesting and challanging view of Heaven and Hell through a dream. Now I have just begun yet another C.S. Lewis read: That Hideous Strength. It's of a trilogy and so far I am finding it quite difficult. Lewis writes this in a way I'm not accustomed to, not to mention it is not a simple work to follow. But I'm enjoying the challenge.
It seems I am going in waves of being disciplined about one thing and not another. And so it is with reading - disciplined about reading, but not about other things. Deary me. This is hard, but I'm not worried about it. It's all about God anyway. And He can take care perfectly well. ;)
Jul 18, 2008
Oh yes, God is good.
Yes, yes. I know. I have not written an update in a very long time. I have been, for the past few weeks, commuting between Gig Harbor and Seattle for school. The reason being dog sitting...for my parents...while they were away in HAWAII. No, I am not jealous at all. I had a really good few weeks.
But it did mean that my time was very limited. And so for the past few weeks I have not exercised, have not been very good about reading the Word that gives life, and have not - admittedly - even been eating the healthiest of things. But tomorrow is a new day, and I look forward to doing better.
Despite this all, I do have a few good things to report. First is that in school I have had so many wonderful opportunities to share my faith. (And school is going super well, by the way. I got 100% on my written final for this past module, and my class grade is 98.5% overall; which is not normal for me, so praise God).
Sharing my faith is by no means glamorous. Often I feel as though I am not getting anywhere. But there God provides that glimmer of hope that He is doing something. Most recently, a discussion about Jesus has been very much opened between a girl and I from class. I've been praying for a core group of girls from there, and she is one of them. I'm super excited to see how God uses me - (Please do, God).
Also, this week God has blessed me with work every single day. I have done $15/hour babysitting two days this week, and the rest of the week I have been working at a glass blowing studio/art gallery in Ballard. I am running the art gallery and it has been wonderful. Mind you, this is only temp work until Saturday.
Anyway, Wednesday I met one of the glass blowers and something in me felt like he might be a Christian. I was very convinced this was so, but did not think to ask. And of course I forgot about it after leaving work. This afternoon I came in and heard him playing Christian music on the radio while I was showing some of the customers around. After the customers left, I went back to the studio room and asked him. We were so delighted to find out we are both Christians. The spirit within me must have recognized the Holy Spirit within him on Wednesday when we met. I felt very encouraged.
We greeted one another with what I like to call 'the right hand of fellowship' (a firm but intimate handshake between believers) and a proper hug. It was great to talk about our struggles as Christians within a non-Christian working environment. He really did encourage me in what is happening at school - and that God is always the one to do the moving. We are only tools; vessels, rather. He works through us and His will be done, not our own.
These days I am always so delighted when unexpectedly discovering another believer in my midst. That must be something God has done in me, to recognize the power of His grace. How wonderful is when we encounter someone who too is saved; spared? Shouldn't we be rejoicing every time we come together with believers, proclaiming what Christ has done for us!? It's good stuff, man. Good stuff.
End of blah blahing. Have a good day, friends.
Yours faithfully,
Courtney (Dani to those who prefer it)
But it did mean that my time was very limited. And so for the past few weeks I have not exercised, have not been very good about reading the Word that gives life, and have not - admittedly - even been eating the healthiest of things. But tomorrow is a new day, and I look forward to doing better.
Despite this all, I do have a few good things to report. First is that in school I have had so many wonderful opportunities to share my faith. (And school is going super well, by the way. I got 100% on my written final for this past module, and my class grade is 98.5% overall; which is not normal for me, so praise God).
Sharing my faith is by no means glamorous. Often I feel as though I am not getting anywhere. But there God provides that glimmer of hope that He is doing something. Most recently, a discussion about Jesus has been very much opened between a girl and I from class. I've been praying for a core group of girls from there, and she is one of them. I'm super excited to see how God uses me - (Please do, God).
Also, this week God has blessed me with work every single day. I have done $15/hour babysitting two days this week, and the rest of the week I have been working at a glass blowing studio/art gallery in Ballard. I am running the art gallery and it has been wonderful. Mind you, this is only temp work until Saturday.
Anyway, Wednesday I met one of the glass blowers and something in me felt like he might be a Christian. I was very convinced this was so, but did not think to ask. And of course I forgot about it after leaving work. This afternoon I came in and heard him playing Christian music on the radio while I was showing some of the customers around. After the customers left, I went back to the studio room and asked him. We were so delighted to find out we are both Christians. The spirit within me must have recognized the Holy Spirit within him on Wednesday when we met. I felt very encouraged.
We greeted one another with what I like to call 'the right hand of fellowship' (a firm but intimate handshake between believers) and a proper hug. It was great to talk about our struggles as Christians within a non-Christian working environment. He really did encourage me in what is happening at school - and that God is always the one to do the moving. We are only tools; vessels, rather. He works through us and His will be done, not our own.
These days I am always so delighted when unexpectedly discovering another believer in my midst. That must be something God has done in me, to recognize the power of His grace. How wonderful is when we encounter someone who too is saved; spared? Shouldn't we be rejoicing every time we come together with believers, proclaiming what Christ has done for us!? It's good stuff, man. Good stuff.
End of blah blahing. Have a good day, friends.
Yours faithfully,
Courtney (Dani to those who prefer it)
Jun 26, 2008
Your Opinion Matters!
It's amazing how much exercise and a balanced diet benefits the body. I think, here in our Western society, we tend to expect instant results (and at no sacrafice). So when the exercise and diet aren't working instantly (or WE just aren't working), we give up. Kapow!!! Just like that. And it's easily justified.
But I have HAD to stick with this thing because I made a commitment to it. I've commited to being more disciplined. And even though right now that has not manifested into marathon training, 20 hours a week at the gym, or only eating raw vegetables, I am making great progress. Days are up and down - they will always be. But it seems easier to push through them now that I've got a momentum going. It seems easier to choose to eat healthier, without being too stubborn about it (or legalistic). It seems easier to wake up at 5am to go for a long hard walk or an easy jog (because that's where I'm at right now; again, not a marathon runner). It even seems easier to make sure I don't go a whole day without spending some time in the Word.
On top of this, I feel so much better! When I'm tired, I know it's because I'm actually tired...and not because I'm lazy or lathargic. I have more energy during the day, my mood is way better, my body feels more refreshed and lighter, and I even feel a lot more beautiful. It's only been, what? Three weeks? And I'm seeing the fruit of even just the physical aspect of it.
So now it leads me to step two: setting new goals. The first goal was just to begin creating discipline as a habit. Now that that has begun to happen, I need a challange. A really good, but obtainable challange. Folks, tell me: What are your suggestions?
But I have HAD to stick with this thing because I made a commitment to it. I've commited to being more disciplined. And even though right now that has not manifested into marathon training, 20 hours a week at the gym, or only eating raw vegetables, I am making great progress. Days are up and down - they will always be. But it seems easier to push through them now that I've got a momentum going. It seems easier to choose to eat healthier, without being too stubborn about it (or legalistic). It seems easier to wake up at 5am to go for a long hard walk or an easy jog (because that's where I'm at right now; again, not a marathon runner). It even seems easier to make sure I don't go a whole day without spending some time in the Word.
On top of this, I feel so much better! When I'm tired, I know it's because I'm actually tired...and not because I'm lazy or lathargic. I have more energy during the day, my mood is way better, my body feels more refreshed and lighter, and I even feel a lot more beautiful. It's only been, what? Three weeks? And I'm seeing the fruit of even just the physical aspect of it.
So now it leads me to step two: setting new goals. The first goal was just to begin creating discipline as a habit. Now that that has begun to happen, I need a challange. A really good, but obtainable challange. Folks, tell me: What are your suggestions?
Jun 22, 2008
Joy, Joy...Down In My Heart
I should be thankful...
...that whenever I say Jesus, my heart spasms with joy. When I think about prayer, my heart spasms with joy. When I remember even a pinch of what God has done in my life, my heart spasms with joy. Even knowing that there is so much I have to trust God with TODAY, my heart spasms with joy.
Do we really understand how fantastic, how incredible, how AMAZING it is that we are Christians? I have been reminded of this as of late. I mean - do you REALIZE how PRIVELIDGED you are that GOD CHOSE YOU TO ENTER INTO HIS GRACE AND MERCY SO THAT YOU MAY PARTAKE IN ENTERNAL LIFE?!?!?! I mean - that is...beyond words! That is...so undeserved. You did not deserve it. I did not deserve it.
Why...HOW...do we just take that for granted?! But we do. I do. All the time.
Brothers and sisters...are you experiencing joy? Because if you aren't, please - please pray that you do. Honestly, joy is amazing and it can be experienced whatever your circumstances. If you disagree with me, stop pitying yourself. God transcends all of our hardships. His love, his mercy, his kindness, his JOY...transcends any emotion, any frustration, any difficult...ANYTHING! And I am speaking out of PLENTY experience; trust me, I am. I know what it means to need healing; to be absolutely desperate; even to be poor. Granted, I have never been starving, and I have never been beaten within inches of my life. But I have been walked on, I have been taken advantage of on many horrible levels, I have been rejected countless times, and I have had so little that I can only live by the grace of God. I have been depressed, I have been in bondage, I have been harmed beyond my control. But God transcends everything.
But joy requires focusing our hearts on God - and removing the focus from ourselves.
That is all I have to say today - more for myself than anyone else, which is why I will not post this in a facebook message. So if you are meant to read it, you will find your way to it somehow.
May God bless you and fill you with everlasting joy through his Holy Spirit. And may you know the kindness and discipline of his unconditional love. Amen.
...that whenever I say Jesus, my heart spasms with joy. When I think about prayer, my heart spasms with joy. When I remember even a pinch of what God has done in my life, my heart spasms with joy. Even knowing that there is so much I have to trust God with TODAY, my heart spasms with joy.
Do we really understand how fantastic, how incredible, how AMAZING it is that we are Christians? I have been reminded of this as of late. I mean - do you REALIZE how PRIVELIDGED you are that GOD CHOSE YOU TO ENTER INTO HIS GRACE AND MERCY SO THAT YOU MAY PARTAKE IN ENTERNAL LIFE?!?!?! I mean - that is...beyond words! That is...so undeserved. You did not deserve it. I did not deserve it.
Why...HOW...do we just take that for granted?! But we do. I do. All the time.
Brothers and sisters...are you experiencing joy? Because if you aren't, please - please pray that you do. Honestly, joy is amazing and it can be experienced whatever your circumstances. If you disagree with me, stop pitying yourself. God transcends all of our hardships. His love, his mercy, his kindness, his JOY...transcends any emotion, any frustration, any difficult...ANYTHING! And I am speaking out of PLENTY experience; trust me, I am. I know what it means to need healing; to be absolutely desperate; even to be poor. Granted, I have never been starving, and I have never been beaten within inches of my life. But I have been walked on, I have been taken advantage of on many horrible levels, I have been rejected countless times, and I have had so little that I can only live by the grace of God. I have been depressed, I have been in bondage, I have been harmed beyond my control. But God transcends everything.
But joy requires focusing our hearts on God - and removing the focus from ourselves.
That is all I have to say today - more for myself than anyone else, which is why I will not post this in a facebook message. So if you are meant to read it, you will find your way to it somehow.
May God bless you and fill you with everlasting joy through his Holy Spirit. And may you know the kindness and discipline of his unconditional love. Amen.
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