I was having a discussion with a friend the other day in a coffee shop. It often happens that when I come into this particular coffee shop, I will run into a friend or acquaintance (and sometimes even a stranger) and find myself suddenly in an intense discussion. Such was the case with this friend.
Now, I have found myself in many deep conversations with this fellow, so it came as no surprise to me that we should have another. I can't remember all that we talked about, but what stands out to me is a moment which I caught myself terribly off guard with my own honesty.
I began going off on why truth is such a hard thing to handle. I confessed that the truth happens to be my biggest fear. When absolute, pure, unfiltered truth breaks through, we are forced to be painfully aware of our weaknesses. And by weaknesses, I mean those which we covet; those which we hide so well that often we don't actually believe they are weaknesses. We might tell ourselves that we are fine, we can handle it, that it's not even a problem, and there is no need to tell anyone about them. But when truth breaks in, it comes like a double edged sword piercing straight through our hearts. And we are confronted with the reality that we are, in fact, a slave to something other than righteousness and we are entirely helpless.
The thing about truth is that it also brings a hope. A hope in a future, a hope in freedom, a hope in a love that is far less complicated than we make it. And most of all, it brings us a hope in a God that truly LOVES US, and can make anything possible - even complete intimacy.
When the day comes that I pass from this earth and stand before God the Judge, I will be on my face trembling with fear because no lie, no deception, no illusion will keep me any longer from knowing the truth of my own wretchedness. And surely I will be saying, "Oh God, I am not worthy! Have mercy on me, your servant!" And my every hope is that a voice will come gently speaking; the voice of the Son saying,
"Rise, beloved child. I am standing with you. My blood has covered your sins. Now, well done, good and faithful servant." Oh yes. That'll be the day.
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