For anyone with a liturgical background (as Matt Edwards would say), this is the season of advent. You know, advent being the first coming of Christ. And for probably many of you, this season is marked by little calendars filled with cheap chocolates, advent candles that you burn a centimeter a day, the cutting down and decorating of Christmas trees, party planning, and most of all...Christmas shopping. Oh joy. Christmas shopping. I hope that you detect that sense of dread in my voice.

I will admit that in the past I have loved Christmas shopping. But as I have grown older, had more people to shop for and less time to do it, I've come to despise it. It's not that I don't like the whole gifting thing. I actually LOVE that part, which is why I enjoyed it in the first place. But I'm coming to feel as though I've lost something along the way. It seems somehow meaningless to go out and buy a gift for someone for the sake of buying a gift. And I have that presence of a sort of evil hanging over my head that says, "they're not even going to appreciate it anyway." I mean, let's be honest: how many of us get gifts at Christmas and think, "Crap. I wouldn't normally be caught dead in this sweater, but I'm going to have to wear it once or twice, aren't I?" or "What in the world would I even do with such a thing as this? It's perfectly useless to me. But I'll keep it around for a year or two so it seems I got some use out of it before I accidentally misplace it," or "Not this again?" Yeah...that's what I thought.

You know people mean well. The problem is that we often do (truly truly) buy just to give something. Whether it's out of tradition or a sense of obligation or competition or even out of good heartedness. Doesn't it all, deep down, just feel meaningless?

The excitement over the iPod wears off in a few weeks. Or the new phone is great, but it's only a matter of months before you're finding reasons why you hate the darn thing and are looking for something else (or sometimes in a matter of days). Have we lost sight of the bigger picture? Not just for Christmas. No, I don't mean that. I mean for life?

It's not about getting things. It's not about abundance or having all that we want or being comfortable. At least not if you're a Christian. We live in abundance in America. Even if you are homeless, you still have more than a lot of people in the world living in complete poverty; in countries where there are the poor...and the poorer. We get it into our heads that we need things...things that we really don't need. And sometimes we even get mad at God when we don't get them.

How many of you have been frustrated with Him because you didn't get a job that you wanted when you were struggling to make ends meet? And in the same case, how many of you have felt that certain jobs were beneath you so you didn't even consider them? How many of you have ever complained about your car? But then not realizing that less than 10% of the world's population even owns a car?

I complain about not having health insurance all the time. But if I needed to see a doctor, there are plenty available and I can probably afford a visit and some antibiotics without feeling to uncomfortable. If I couldn't, there are free clinics and clinics that offer health care on a sliding scale. And even so, there are my parents who, if I really needed it, would take care of me. Even people in my church would probably donate toward a large medical bill if I needed surgery or something of that nature. Yet roughly 270 million children in the world have NO access to health care at all. NO ACCESS. This puts things in perspective for me a little bit.

I have never gone a day where I've had to think: "How will I eat?" Not one day. I may have gone a day without eating because I was sick or fasting or forgetful. But I have never had to ask the question of 'how'...I will eat. Have you?

I was challenged this past Thanksgiving: you know, the holiday celebrates our abundance. And that is fine. It is good to be thankful and celebrate abundance, but I was challenged to not stop it at that. Instead...should I not be giving out of that abundance? I'm not rich by American standards. In fact, if you really want to know, I make less than $1000 a month. But I still consider myself to live in abundance. My needs are met. I have food. I have clean water. I have shelter. I much more. I have a car that works. I have enough money each month to go out to eat or sit in a cafe regularly. I have a mobile phone. I have netflix (I love netflix). I have a laptop, which I am typing on as we speak. I have too many clothes, even though I've already gotten rid of almost half of them. I have two jobs. I have cable tv where I live AND wifi. I have two guitars. I have three coats, one anorak and one really nice fleece jacket. I have too many shoes. I have a tv and a dvd player. I have a large room that is bigger than a space a family might share in a developing country. I have a credit card. I have heat in my home...

The list goes on and on and on and the more I think about it, the more I know I could add. And the more I add, the more I realize how much abundance I live in...and I am still considered poor by American standards. I find this laughable. I dare you to make a list of all the things you own. Feel free to clump things like clothes and shoes together. It doesn't matter. You'll still probably have a ridiculously long list. If that doesn't get you to think, I don't know what will.

So anyway...here is my greatest challenge: don't make Christmas about having more stuff. Make it about giving...to people who need it. Christ didn't come to heal the healthy and feed the wealthy. He came to heal the sick and feed the poor.

Pray about how you can give out of abundance this year. Visit www.adventconspiracy.org, www.worldvision.org, www.ijm.org, www.mochaclub.org, and www.kiva.org for more information and ways you can help.

Dear Lord,

I remember when I was younger I used to have these passionate conversations with you. I'd say things that were deep...all the time. And I'd have intimate relationships with other believers because we'd want to talk about you whenever we were together. You know what was really going on? I was in love with You. And now I've sort of forgotten that aspect of our relationship. It's sort of gone on the back burner because I'm relating to You more as a Father at the moment. But...I'm miss feeling more like You are a lover.

So, my prayer is to feel that way about you again. My prayer is to start having those intimate conversations again, with the appropriate people, of course. Whatever happened to them? He he. We'll get there together.

Love you.

Courtney

Autumn!

I love autumn. I guess I'm truly from the Northwest. It's just that it makes me feel so nostalgic. You know, the crazy busy summer is over and I am reminded of all the time I get to spend with my family and close friends when the weather starts to turn cold. Dinners consisting of thick, hearty stews. Drinking chocolate warmed up on the stove with milk, whipped cream and marshmallows (or made for you at Forza, if you want to spend the money). Baking cookies and pies and other unhealthy things to give people as gifts because few people can resist sweets. And Thanksgiving with family! And Christmas. I enjoy Christmas so much more now that I'm older and it's not about the presents anymore. And the rain! I love the rain. Call me a true Northwesterner. I know it! Rain is a sign of blessing. So many people go without it that I'm so grateful for it. They way it makes the air smell. The way it feels when it hits my face. The puddles to splash in. And the laughs to be had when running through rain that soaks you to the core. Mmmm. I wish you could see the smile on my face.

But something more is going on. The change of seasons reminds me of the seasons of life. Leaves that once symbolized life, begin to die and fall away from the trees. Then the rain comes and just washes everything away, preparing the ground for new life in the spring. Perhaps in this season, you feel there are things which you have clinged to in the past (as trees cling to their leaves) that are beginning to wither and fall away. Maybe this a painful process. And perhaps you also feel that God is beginning to send rain upon, making this whole experience even harder...

In this time, may you be reminded to trust God. Just as leaves must die and be soaked into the ground to make way for new life, be blessed with the knowledge that for all things that God causes to die within us, He is sowing a new seed that will produce an even better fruit.

My cousin ended his life about a week ago. He was in a coma for a little while and then finally...on Friday...he just went. He was only 15. Here...and then gone. Like that. Still just a little bird.

Someone once told me - a woman I'd never met before - that when she closed her eyes she saw this picture of me standing like a tree in the middle of a field and thousands upon thousands flocked to me. That they were drawn to me. On a seperate and unrelated occasion, another woman - this time one that I knew - told me that she also saw me as a tree with branches that spread into the sky; and that thousands of birds and animals came to me to find refuge...

When I think of my cousin, I think of how I wish I could have been a refuge to him. I think of how I wish I knew how to give him the kind of love that he needed. But even if I possess it, I wonder if he would have ever recieved it. There is something about holding a child who no body seems to want or notice or really care about - just to say I want you; I notice you; I really care about you. But only if it is genuine. Because a child deep down knows when it is not genuine. And such a knowledge creates a void in them...I believe. Or maybe I don't know anything at all and I'm simply processing why my 15 year old cousin felt that ending his life was his only option.

I have no words of wisdom to offer in this situation. I have to deep insight - other than to say that I know, without a doubt, that God loved that boy more than any of us could ever understand or realize. And that his pain was also God's.

This has changed my life. It has made me contemplative about things which I have chosen to so much ignore in the past. It has made me realize that in this one...very short existence...we cannot compromise fullness of love for self indulgence. I do not know what day I shall pass on to glory. Why waste my life trying to aquire something that I will never take with me in the end anyhow? On that day all I will have is the life I lived. And I'd most like to look back on it with gratitude and a confidence that I did the best I could to live it right. That I lived it pouring myself out of love. And to do that, I must be full of my Maker's love.

I wish I poured more of my love out onto that boy. But I can't go back. Now I must go forward with what I now know and...do the best I can.

Right? If only this grief were not so heavy. Preston, wherever you are, you must know that you have changed me.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
5

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,
10

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.
15

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.
20

Mark Driscoll's 8 Questions to Determine How Humble You Are...

These questions are taken from Mark Driscoll's 05-12-09 sermon on Humility. I recommend listening to the audio sermon online, which can be found at marshillchurch.org. These questions are best coupled with the sermon. But they are okay to use on their own.

Before you look at these questions, you need to know that they should not be simply looked over and answered yes or no. These are questions that require deep thought and self-examination. Mark Driscoll advices people to take these questions to their closest friends and work colleagues; have such people answer these questions on one's behalf. Whatever you decide to do with them, make sure to take them to heart. The parenthesis are my own expansions of the questions for clarity.

1) Are you teachable? (Do you take what others are teaching you into heavy consideration, or do you think you know it all?)

2) How do you respond to correction and rebuke? (Do you get defensive or are you willing to listen and take on board correction and rebuke?)

3) Do you repent quickly and thoroughly? (How quick are you to apologize? How willing are you to apologize? Do you apologize without expectation from the other party to do the same?)

4) Are you considerate of other people? (Think of specific examples, even things like driving conduct and sharing your opinions.)

5) Do you serve and recieve service well? (Are you willing to serve for the sake of service? Do you let others serve and help you, or does your pride get in the way?)

6) Are you consistantly aware of God's grace in your life? (Do you know that you are a sinner? Are you aware of your sins, strengths, weaknesses? Are you thankful for God's graces?)

7) Do you disagree agreeably? (Are you constantly opinionated? Do you feel that you need to be right? Or do you willingly listen to the opinions of others with an open mind and disagree graciously? Are you willing to admit that you may be wrong?)

8) How much attention and affirmation do you desire? (Do you get upset and angry when you haven't been affirmed consistently in ministry? Do you feel that you need to be recognized for what you do? Do you serve or lead because it makes you feel important and/or in control?)

A short note...

Today I was reminded that no matter how frustrating situations people can be, it is always about love. Seeing them as Christ sees them and then...loving them. When we think they "don't get it" or they are too immature or they're too selfish or they're just idiots...love.

The more we see them as Christ sees them, the less annoyed or frustrated or whatever we get. Because they stop being a thing in our lives or an inconvenience or there to serve what we want to accomplish...and they start being people. More than that, they start being children of God with heartaches and needs and problems and desires and hopes and mistakes and insecurities and...

...a special purpose...

...just like me.



Remember to love today. Remember to see each other as Christ does.

Spiritual Healing

Last night I presented a sermon on Matthew 9:1-8. I focused on spiritual healing vs. physical healing. After the sermon, I was approached by a small handful of people telling me how significant the message was. It was then that I realized perhaps I need to address this to more than just the youth group.

An overview of the passage: it is about a paralytic who was carried by his friends to a gathering where Jesus was teaching. Their hope was to get their friend healed. But when they reached the house where the gathering was, they could not get in. So they dug a hole in the roof and lowered their buddy in. Seeing the faith of the friends, Jesus said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." But of course the Pharisees were bitter in their hearts and secretly accused Jesus of blasphemy. Sensing this, Jesus called them out and said, "Which is easier to say: 'Your sins are forgiven' or 'Get up, take your mat, and go home'? But so that you may know I have the authority to forgive sins - son, get up, take your mat, and go home." So the paralytic got up, took his mat, and went home. And God was glorified.

Now whenever I used to read this I always felt that it should be harder to heal a man of his physical ailments. "Isn't forgiveness of sins easy?" But I did not realize the significance God's forgiveness of our sins actually is.

You know, last fall I took a blow to my health. In such a short period of time I developed severe tendinitis in both hands/arms. It was so devastating, it was like hitting a brick wall. I had to drop out of massage therapy school, quit my job as a barista, stop playing guitar, and even everyday tasks like writing, cleaning, driving, putting on make up and doing my hair became very painful. I did not understand why I was going through such a thing. I prayed constantly that God would heal me physically. Eventually, I grew bitter and hopeless.

But during the time that my hands got worse and worse, something strange happened. I had to start dealing with the fact that I was getting bitter, that my heart was breaking, and that I was sick of being disappointed. And in the midst of dealing with it, I was forced to face sins, heartaches, disappointments, unforgiveness and resentment from the past - things which I'd been holding on to, and refused to deal with before. And though it was painful, I began to heal in a very spiritual way.

I had a break through one night a few months ago. I sat alone in my room and for hours upon hours I prayed through my sins that I'd not confessed, through hurts that I'd not yet forgiven (even forgiving myself), and disappointments that I held against God or others. As I worked through my spiritual ailments, a heavy burden began to lift. I knew God was mending significant wounds. And at the end of the night, I felt God placing a promise in my heart. As if He were saying, "Courtney, now I am not only going to heal you spiritually, but now I am also going to heal you physically. Keep praying for it."

Since, I have continued my journey of spiritual healing. I have grown significantly from my physical disease and have learned to rely on God in new and wonderful ways. But guess what? He's also been healing me physically! My tendinitis is nearly gone, to the point that my doctor said I may even be able to return to massage school soon. Praise God!

But you see, it was important that I realized that spiritual healing is far more significant than physical healing. We focus so much on the physical. Yet the physical will soon pass. Spiritual healing is eternal, while physical healing is only temporary. We are all going to die one day. We are all getting old and our bodies are deteriorating. In our youth we may have our physical health, but it will soon fade. Whereas our spiritual health will remain with us throughout our lives and we will reap a reward in heaven for our pursuit of godliness.

I want to challenge you that if the idea of your health deteriorating is actually quite a frightening thought to you, perhaps you need to give that to God. While physical health is important (I won't deny that, it certainly helps us to be capable of more), it can become an idol like anything else.

When you look back on your life, how will you have lived it? Will you have wasted your time and energy and heart and focus on the pursuit of physical things? Wealth, status, appearance? All of these things will die with you and never give you life. Or will you see that you pursued God, love, godliness? If you pursue God with your utmost diligence in your life, you will plant seeds of love and hope and goodness in the lives you touch, even if you never know it. You will live life to its fullest because you will know what life is truly about. As you strive to give over to God the junk in your life, you will have richer relationships, deeper love, and fully appreciation. Your needs will become simple and your heart grow more delighted in Him.

It all starts with prayer. Pray, pray, pray, pray to Him. Listen to Him speak to you. Tell Him anything and everything. Pour your heart out to Him. Prayer is the most amazing tool we have - it is direct communication with God. And though it is hard often, persevere. Persevere because He will guide your way through prayer.

I will end this blog with a verse:

"...Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, BUT godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:7b-8

Amen.

Sabbath what?

Someone once told me there is this spiritual discipline called taking a Sabbath (day off). I was like, "What? What are you even talking about?"

Okay, maybe I wasn't like that. But it seems lately, especially in such a fast paced, financial-success driven society, relaxing has become a skill that needs to be learned for many people. I include myself in that. I love the idea of relaxing, but I've yet to figure out how to do it at will. On my days off I usually work on something, even when I don't need to. The idea of having nothing to do all day seems wasteful and horrible and awkward! But there is evidence that I need one when I have been sick with colds and flus for the past few months! My body is not getting enough rest by my will to stay healthy, so I'm forced into bed by bugs of all sorts having parties in my lungs and sinuses.

God gave us the Sabbath as a gift. He never needed us to take a Sabbath. Us working does not make Him angry. He loves a good work ethic. But He commanded us to take a Sabbath for us, and not for Him. He knows what is best for us. Yet we - I - think we know what is best for ourselves and so we work none stop. And guess what, weeks and months pass and one day we feel burnt out, our relationships seem strained, and most of all, something just doesn't seem right. Our relationship with God easily becomes distant and distracted when we don't take a day to let things be in His hands.

It's hard to take time off, and I'm not saying we need to be legalistic about it. But it's important to take time to ourselves, even if it's a few hours a day rather than one entire day. I mean, take one entire day a week if you can as often as possible, but sometimes it just doesn't practically play out. But my challenge for myself is to be intentional about the time I take to relax, enjoy friends and family, enjoy alone time, and especially to enjoy God. Some weeks I don't have a whole day, but I have a few hours a couple of mornings and one evening a week. So take that time to read my bible, pray, journal and catch up with people in my life. On Sundays after church I often head over to the local coffee shop for a board game or share a meal with close friends. Other Sundays I reserve time to just myself, and sit in a coffee shop or a book store for hours alone reading and journaling. If I can do it, you can to.

A good friend of mine always says that God has this way of giving back to us the time we give to him. When we think we don't have time to give Him an hour but do, we are surprised to find that we get done whatever we needed to get done with that hour anyway. Does that make sense? I hope so. Test it out. I bet you'll find it's true. Give Him an hour or two or three - completely undivided with the intention of resting in Him and enjoying His presence (and not as an excuse to procrastinate, thank you much). And I bet you will find that you get back whatever time you gave.

Grace and Peace from the Father through Christ.

Beauty in the Lowly

This past week I had the opportunity to visit Vancouver. Youth leaders from my church and I took eleven middle school students on a short term 'mission' trip. One of my colleagues refers to it more as an 'awareness raising' trip, though we did serve some ministries. We teamed up with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Vancouver. The week was very powerful and I want to focus on a specific aspect of it.

We had an evening where one of the YWAM staff members, an awesome servant of the Lord named Ryan, shared with us about Human Trafficking and the Sex Trade Industry. I've worked some with this issue in my past when I myself was on staff with YWAM in Seattle, and traveled to work with YWAM in Thailand. This is a major issue for Thailand itself and has become something quite close to my heart. So when Ryan began discussion of this topic, I found myself getting very emotional. In fact, I wept quite a bit. I'm sure some of the students were confused about my reaction, but I doubt they were concerned.

Such an issue causes us to face the reality that a lot of women, men and children are made victims of a violent industry. They are forced into it usually with violence, threats, and rape. Children in not only foreign countries but even our own are sold into a modern day form of slavery by their parents or recruiting under false pretenses (with the promise of a good job in another city) only to be throw into the violent world of prostitution. And yet a blind eye is turned because people 'cannot handle such an ugly truth'.

We look down on prostitutes as the scum of the earth or as twisted women who are willing to sink low enough to subject themselves to a degrading profession. And yet we fail to see that they themselves are victims. They are victims of kidnapping, poverty, addiction, violence and rape. We see ugly. And God sees beauty. That's right. He sees beauty.

He sees His children, His beautiful children being used and used and used. And His heart breaks. Jesus reached out to prostitutes with love and grace and mercy, even in a time and culture that found this highly unacceptable. Jesus saw women and men who felt no worth and no beauty. And all He saw was the beautiful and loved children of God.

In Vancouver there are many things we might consider ugly. It became apparent to me by the cities division between 'ghetto' and 'high end'. The line is almost as clear as day and night - when walking the streets one would notice an immediate change from poverty to wealth within one block. The poor, the homeless, the drug addicts, the prostitutes, the desperate are being pushed and forced into one corner of the city so that they don't have to be seen; so that we can turn a blind eye to the 'ugly'. Yet God sees beauty in these people; His children.

I want to challenge you, like God has challenged me, to see the beauty in the places society considers ugly. To see beauty in the faces of men and women who are covered in dirt and grime and oil and shame. To see beauty in children of God who are made victims to addiction and violence and rape and poverty and the sins of others and the sins of themselves. And look yourself in the mirror today. Ask yourself what difference there is between you and lowest of the lowelys. Though your lifestyle me look different, are you really better than them? In the eyes of God, are you more important, more valuable, more beautiful? Or are you the same? Are we all, each and every one of us, poor and wealthy, dirty and clean, really just the same?

Yes. Yes, we are. And praise God for it.

(View blog on it's website www.ruggedbeauty.blogspot.com)

Repeat after me: "Intentionally Creating Community..."

I've been thinking a lot about community lately. Any of my friends will tell you that I love to be around people, which is probably why I'm so addicted to ministry in the first place. I'm all about people - all about their hearts and souls and minds. I love to pour into them, love to spend time with them, love to get to know them. It's just who God has made me to be.

Lately, I've been playing a lot of games with friends. Not as in mental games, I'm mean literal games like Scatagories and chess (yeah, I actually played chess!) and Cranium. I suppose it all started in England when friends and I made a regular meeting out of playing Texas Hold 'Em. And then when I returned I seemed to befriend people who had to play games when they got together. So now I find myself sending out texts every Sunday asking who might be up for a board game at the local coffee shop. And I've got to say, it's been amazing getting to know random people through it.

All this to say, I've been thinking about the idea of intentionally creating community as of late. When I came back to Gig Harbor, I had this idea in my head that God was wanting me to start a ministry among young adults. And I somewhat assumed this meant a very straight forward, 'what you normally see' kind of ministry. You know, starting small groups, teaching lessons, etc. etc. But lately I'm realizing this ministry He has naturally evolved for me has everything to do with 'intentionally creating community' and nothing to do with starting small groups or whatever. It's as if there is some switch in me that refuses to shut off. What shall I call it? A hospitality switch? A hostess switch? An organizer switch? I can't stop planning reasons to get together with the young adults in my community.

I wonder if perhaps God wants all of us to be more intentional about creating community around us. I'm not talking about be a freak about it like I am. I just mean that I am someone who believes we were designed to be in relationship with others. But, especially for young single adults, life gets busy with work and play and everything in between. Even hanging out with people can end up being more about entertainment than relationship. I want to start a movement in Gig Harbor where people decide to go out of their way to build relationship with those around them. Have a meal together, play a board game, catch up over coffee, go see a comedian who has come to town, visit a jazz club. Whatever it is, I want to challange everyone, both young and old, to start 'intentionally creating community". See it as a ministry or not. Just give it a try for a while and see what happens. You never know - maybe it might even change your life!

Love

This weekend, many of the girls from our church's high school group went away for a spiritual retreat. I was blessed enough to be a leader on this weekend away, and even more blessed to be able to teach a bit on the theme: lavishing love. For those of you who weren't able to make it, and for those of you who were there but would like a refresher, here is a recap.

On the first night, I introduced the idea of God lavishing His love on us. We focused on the weekend's key verse, 1 John 3:1 - How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!...etc.

I discussed how difficult it can be for many of us to understand and accept God's love for us. Hoping in God's love often seems like the biggest risk anyone can take, especially if our personal experiences with an earthly father figure have been disappointing and hurtful. But His love for us is true and good. We can count on it. We are His children and He loves us. I finished by asking the girls to spend the weekend loving on one another as an expression of God's love for them.

In the morning, Alison did a devo on loving one another and the fruits of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit will be revealed in us through our actions - the way we treat one another. If we possess the fruits, we will treat one another with love. She made a point that love is the first and foremost fruit of the Spirit. Without it, we cannot obtain the other fruits. So we must seek the love of God.

That evening, Kelly took us through the book of 1 John. She did an incredible job first showing us how to study our bibles, then opening our eyes to what 1 John says about God and us. She discussed God's faithfulness and forgiveness. She discussed what God says about sin and led us through a process of recognising and confessing our own sins. The evening was powerful as God stirred the hearts of many.

On Sunday morning, I gave the final talk on how to apply what we've learned to our lives. I discussed the effect we have on one another. A few of the girls shared how being encouraged by one another over the weekend, as I asked them to do on Friday night, made them feel unified and loved. I shared how when we have healthy human relationships we experience the fullness of life.

We looked at 1 John 4:11-12, which discusses how God first loved us, and that is how we love another. But if we do not first recieve God's love, we cannot love one another. There is this mysterious parallel between the amount of love we recieve from God and the amount of love we are able to pour out on others.

We also discussed the definition of love - that it is not a feeling, but an action. Brad Henning, a speaker on sex and relationships, defines love as choosing the highest good (or the best) for the person recieving the love. That could be others, or that could be ourselves. Love is an action - a choice. If you say you love me, I want to see it in your actions. If you say you love God, I want to see it by the way you live your life.

I challenged the girls to decide what priority they want to have in their life. God or themselves. I asked them how their relationship with God is: what are they holding out from God? When we allow God to remove sins and stains in our lives, we are able to recieve and give more of His love. When we refuse His work in us, we are keeping ourselves from experiencing once again the fullness of life.

To recieve God's love, we need to spend time with Him, soak in His Spirit, pray often, listen to what He has to say to us, and read the Word often for it gives life. It often seems hard, but as we challenge ourselves to perservere, we find that we start to crave the scriptures.

Receive God's love. Then go out and pour it on others.

Simple Pleasures

Do you know what really gets me feeling like a child? Snow.

It snowed last night. I don't know why it did. It seems this part of the country can't make up its mind what season it'd like to be. Winter? Summer? It doesn't know.

I was on my way out from my church's high school youth group meeting when I noticed how much it'd been coming down. I exchange a few friendly jokes and farewells, laughed at a friend who said he strongly dislikes the snow (he's from Texas), then proceeded to my car. I walked with face toward the sky and probably would have walked into something if it were in my way. Fortunately the path to my little gas-efficient Civic was clear. "I'm not from Texas," I thought to myself. "I love the snow."

Nothing puts me in a state of delight like the snow does. There is some childish mechanism that God has gracefully placed my adult soul that switches on whenever the air turns crisp and I get the feeling that icy crystals will soon cover the ground. I am forced to stop and appreciate the fluff falling around my face; and even just for a moment I am a little girl full of wonder and everything becomes a miracle again.

In Matthew 11:25, Jesus says, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children."

As an adult, I constantly battle arrogance, stubbornness, and too much seriousness. I find myself turning my nose up at things I once delighted in - thinking, "How childish!" But then the Holy Spirit convicts me, revealing to me that it is my own pride and jealously that causes me to react in such a way. And I am reminded that being childlike is a wonderful thing. It is a sad day when adults learn to no longer have fun, to delight in simple things, and even refuse to engage in childlike imagination. How beautiful it is when a full grown person can stoop down the level of a child and be filled once again with all the pleasures, wonders, and humility of childhood.

Oh the Rain

It's been raining so much the past few days. Can I be honest? I love it. I know it's annoying to walk in - and to drive in, but it has this way of filling me with a sense of renewal and refreshment. Just like the Holy Spirit brings up springs from the dryness of the soul to fill us with the living water of Jesus Christ. Rain is a sign of blessing and has been since the ancient days. Oh, how refreshed I feel these days.

Yesterday evening I read a psalm that really captured my heart at the moment. Psalm 63 reads:

O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as longs as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with
the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

...the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him...

AMEN.

Welp, there's a holiday coming up and you know what it is: V Day. And while many people are celebrating their love for another person, some people might be inside experiencing resentment and hurt for past heart aches and disappointments. Let's be honest. There are a lot of you out there, no matter the age. A wound is a wound no matter the size.

And it is custom on this holiday to try to forget those pains or maybe to dwell on them, possibly even to try to 'punish' those who have recently or long ago hurt us through jealousy, etc. etc. How many of you have taken on a love interest simply to spite a past love interest?

But instead of running from the wounds or dwelling on them or rubbing in the guilt of someone who has inflicted them on you, why not try something new this Valentine's Day? Why not forgive? Yes, forgive.

Jesus came to this earth to die for our sins and make forgiveness possible for everyone. No matter what wounds and heartaches we caused Him, His love for us covered over our sins. He came to bring forgiveness. And if God can forgive us, than we have no right to hold unforgiveness towards others. God desires to break His redeeming love into our broken relationships and either restore them or bring closure.

So this week as you think about those who have hurt you, why not make a commitment to learn to forgive. And...in other cases, maybe this V-Day is the right time to ASK for forgiveness as well. Forgiveness brings a kind of freedom that we cannot truly grasp - a freedom that our spirits hunger for. Let's represent what the 14th is really about this year and love one another as Christ loved us.

What's A Dame To Do?

I recently came across a board game called What's A Dame To Do? And I found it fascinating. First of all, it's one of those 'get to know you' games, which is great. I am driven by relationships and am therefore a huge fan of anything that involves getting to know people better (in a kosher way, thank you!). Of course, it would only be a game for girls, though it'd be very interesting to pull guys into it. But then I wondered if even women might be a little hesitant to play the game. I mean, after all it is meant for girly girls, or so it seems. So it got me thinking about this issue that has been coming up lately: being okay with being a girl.

In today's society women made it possible for them to be seen equal to men. This does not always pan out in practice, but it certainly is striven for. After years of fighting for the right to join the military, be a working mom, live independently from men successfully, and even have children without the help of a man (!), there has risen a culture where women are beginning to believe they have to be men. Bare with me on this one, but I do see that often women (without realizing) feel in order to compete with men, they have to be like men. And there is now this negative stigma around being girly. Being girly is for women who aren't successful, women who aren't smart, women who aren't as superior. You may think it's harsh, but it truly is the attitude many women have taken upon themselves. I know because I've been there and I've recognized it in others. Countless others.

AND IT IS SAD! What is wrong with being a woman? Nothing. God created man and woman to be unique, and to be wonderfully special within that uniqueness. God loves it that women are so often in touch with their emotional side. God loves it that women are so often relationally driven. God made us with the desire to be delighted in, the hope to be adored, and the need to be loved. I can imagine Him delighting when we get excited over a boy. I can imagine Him laughing when we turn red after being told we are beautiful. I can imagine Him compassionately holding us when tears flood down our face over a broken heart or hurt feelings. He truly is that kind and wonderful Father with the kind of laugh that comes up from the depths of His gut, and the kind of arms that wrap all the way around you and absorb you into Him. And we are His daughters; His beautiful, delightful, lovely daughters. And that is a wonderful, wonderful reality.

So, girls, be excited about being you - a woman. Don't be embarassed about being too girly or feel ashamed when you want to feel beautiful. It's a wonderful thing to be a woman. And when we finally let go and embrace the female inside of us, there is a freedom that comes and a joy that penetrates to the core of our womanly-souls.

Praise God!

The Truth About Truth

I was having a discussion with a friend the other day in a coffee shop. It often happens that when I come into this particular coffee shop, I will run into a friend or acquaintance (and sometimes even a stranger) and find myself suddenly in an intense discussion. Such was the case with this friend.

Now, I have found myself in many deep conversations with this fellow, so it came as no surprise to me that we should have another. I can't remember all that we talked about, but what stands out to me is a moment which I caught myself terribly off guard with my own honesty.

I began going off on why truth is such a hard thing to handle. I confessed that the truth happens to be my biggest fear. When absolute, pure, unfiltered truth breaks through, we are forced to be painfully aware of our weaknesses. And by weaknesses, I mean those which we covet; those which we hide so well that often we don't actually believe they are weaknesses. We might tell ourselves that we are fine, we can handle it, that it's not even a problem, and there is no need to tell anyone about them. But when truth breaks in, it comes like a double edged sword piercing straight through our hearts. And we are confronted with the reality that we are, in fact, a slave to something other than righteousness and we are entirely helpless.

The thing about truth is that it also brings a hope. A hope in a future, a hope in freedom, a hope in a love that is far less complicated than we make it. And most of all, it brings us a hope in a God that truly LOVES US, and can make anything possible - even complete intimacy.

When the day comes that I pass from this earth and stand before God the Judge, I will be on my face trembling with fear because no lie, no deception, no illusion will keep me any longer from knowing the truth of my own wretchedness. And surely I will be saying, "Oh God, I am not worthy! Have mercy on me, your servant!" And my every hope is that a voice will come gently speaking; the voice of the Son saying,

"Rise, beloved child. I am standing with you. My blood has covered your sins. Now, well done, good and faithful servant." Oh yes. That'll be the day.