By the way...I got red hair.

The God I know

I often wonder...am I too deep?

I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago. He asked me to describe myself and my response was, "Most people tell me I'm tremendously deep, and I think that's probably true."

Later on in the conversation I said something about my relationship with God. With wide eyes he said, "Wow. That's really deep." I could tell he was being serious, but I couldn't undestand why.

"That wasn't actually very deep for me at all," I said. Hehe. It's a shame, really. I would love to have more profound and deep conversations than I already do, but they also need to be with the right people and at the right time.

I'm not really meaning conversations about theology or philosophy or whatever. I just like talking about God, really. I don't really want to figure out the theology behind Him, if I'm honest. I just want to talk about Who He is and what He does. I want to talk about the things He's spoken to me about, and the deep and intimate relationship I've found with Him. I mean, theology and philosophy are alright and they do have lots to do with this stuff, but...I don't want to pick it apart anymore using some weird mind process. I just want to say things the way they are. I just want to be honest and I don't even need to be sentimental. Just...honest. Am I making sense?

Here is the ultimate jist of it all, though. Life...everything...it's all wrapped up in God. That's something I want to share with people. God does live among the pots and the pans, as Brother Lawrence once talked about (thanks for that conversation Peter). God is in the stuff of life, around every corner, seeping in to the food we eat. Yet we treat Him as if He's cold and distant. No! He's not! It's funny, really, because over the past few years the times when I should have felt most distant from God, I didn't. I always felt like He was with me and I with Him...we were still together, hanging out, talking, chatting, sharing. God is real to me. It's pretty awesome. Is God real to you?

A cool thing happened last night. I met two girls, 16 and 17 years of age, who have a heart for the organic church ('bringing church out in to the community where life happens as life happens' is the best way to describe it). I was so stoked to find this out!

You see, for the past year God has put the organic/fluid church on my heart. This started long before I was aware of it when I spent many of my days in ministry talking about the bible and Jesus with friends in coffee shops, private smoking clubs, restaurants, the street and in living rooms. It came naturally to me then, but now I see how it may well be the ministry God is calling me to long term.

This past year I've particulary been praying in to the organic church, praying specifically into finding an expression of organic church for my youth congregation and my ministry. In this time I have met quite a few young people who would like to participate in this kind of 'church service' shall we say. I am now praying in to starting some sort of outreach that takes church out in to the community; basically an organic youth church service. Does that make sense?

So pray into this for me, please. If God wants it to happen, then it should.

Ta!

I'm back!

Well, after probably a year (or more) of ignoring this blog, I am back in action! From now on I hope to be better about posting stories, photos, etc. This will be the place to go to get updated about me. Alternatively, I will also keep my website much more updated. Hopefully none of you will feel out of touch any longer.

Just an update for now. I've finally finished my first year of studies in England. This new year of ministry and life in England should be an awesome one. I'm living in a new home, making new friends, and trying new ways of going about my ministry. Hopefully you will be hearing a lot of good things from me for the rest of 2007 and on in to 2008.

Until next time,

Courtney

A much awaited update from England.

I guess it's been a few months since I've written, huh?

Well, I'm living in England now. I'm trying to settle in, but at the moment I have no home. I've been moving around between friends houses. But as soon as I'm placed with a church and settlement, I'll let you know.

England is a beautiful place. Although the past few days have been quite grey and cold, since arriving here the weather has looked pretty positive. I was able to get a few really nice walks in around the English countryside at my last conference near Leicester. And I've managed to enjoy a few days exploring places like Birmingham, Bury St. Edmunds and Cambridge. I even managed to see where Darwin, Newton and CS Lewis worked for years out of their lives. Cool stuff.

All this to say that God is always good.

A much awaited update from England.

I guess it's been a few months since I've written, huh?

Well, I'm living in England now. I'm trying to settle in, but at the moment I have no home. I've been moving around between friends houses. But as soon as I'm placed with a church and settlement, I'll let you know.

England is a beautiful place. Although the past few days have been quite grey and cold, since arriving here the weather has looked pretty positive. I was able to get a few really nice walks in around the English countryside at my last conference near Leicester. And I've managed to enjoy a few days exploring places like Birmingham, Bury St. Edmunds and Cambridge. I even managed to see where Darwin, Newton and CS Lewis worked for years out of their lives. Cool stuff.

All this to say that God is always good.

Some people are really witty and entertaining when they write. I am not one of those people, but I'll be content as I am. I'm actually just bored right now and realized that I started one of these blog sites some odd weeks ago. "Why not let your fingers go at the keyboard awhile," I thought. So here I am. And here we are...you and I. This is awkward, really.
Anyway, clearly I'm procrastinating from whatever by doing this. Actually whatever happens to be a sermon at church. I'm a Christian, see, and a youth worker at that. So tomorrow I'm giving a lesson on James, a book in the Bible, to about 15 youngens. And the thing is, I'm not a teacher. I do love to talk, but not in front of large crowds with the expectation of a) making any sense and b) saying anything thought provoking. I'd rather be behind the scenes planning games and making phone calls to parents. Yeah, I know. I should get over myself. But...instead of embracing the fact that I get to try something new tomorrow (and writing the slimy little thing), I'm doing this. So I'm saying goodbye now...even though I'll probably find some other way to procrastinate after this.

I turned 20 yesterday. I know it isn't a huge number by any means, but I feel old. There is something about that 2. It makes me feel less mysterious, less exciting, less spontaneous and more responsible. I promised myself I'd always be content with my age and never talk about growing up as a curse.

However, let's be honest here. 20 IS an awkward age. It's sort of this in-between place - the middle of being a teenager and at least feeling like an adult. Yeah, I haven't been a teenager for years, really. I grew up when I graduated - moved out on my own to pursue adventures of varying sorts. Still, some huge part of me could never get over the fact that I was a child...just a very big and responsible one.

Now I find myself split in half, standing on a wood plank with swords drawn on both sides. On one end - me as a child, and on the other - me as an adult. Each scowl with disgust at each other...or fear. I'm sure as I walk away from this computer, they'll actually just shake hands and walk into the sunset together, creating beautiful harmony. It's just fun to be dramatic sometimes. Either way, it's going to take awhile getting used to not being a teen.